Oh boy....

Have you ever done something stupid? Like really stupid and then immediately regretted it, but you still had a chance to stop it, but you couldn't because you already said you would and if you don't have your word to go on then really, what do you have? Yep, that kind of stupid.

I have and did and I'm going to tell you all about it.

At the tender, naive age of 25 I decided that I would like a tattoo. But not just any tattoo. This one would be special. It would be meaningful. It would be the only one I'd ever get. Then I tucked the idea in the back of my mind and decided that if I still wanted said tattoo when I turned 30 I'd go ahead and get it. I turned 30, I wanted it so I got it. No regrets there. As an aside, I have to thank Muffin for hooking me up with his friend the tattoo guy who did an amazing job.

In the days leading up to the tattoo, the boys tried to freak me out about the whole thing. The spot I chose was going to hurt more than anything else ever... It was going to bleed all over the place... It was going to be sore and more itchy than I'd ever experienced... On and on... Heck, I knew it would hurt. It's hundreds, maybe thousands of needles. Of course it would hurt. Muffin decided that there was no way I'd make it through without crying. In fact, he bet ten bucks that I would cry during the process. To his credit, he did pay up in a timely manner.

Just some back story so you know where I'm going with this. Muffin then decided that somehow he needed to make his money back. Maybe even double it!

Turns out that both of our favorite NHL teams are in the playoffs. We've had some rousing text chats during games. Lots of curse words, lots of smack talk... It's been fun. And what has been riding on this playoff? Twenty bucks. If Detroit wins, I make a quick twenty. Yep. There is no other scenario. Detroit has to win.

Why does Detroit have to win? Simple. Tonight the bet got stepped up into dangerous territory. If the Wings do win, Muffin has to get a tattoo of wings somewhere on his person. However, if the unspeakable should happen *gulp*... Well... I'll be sporting a new penguin on my buttocks.

Go Wings!

The Final Egg...

Well, this morning's egg was the final one. It was sad really, but I'm leaving for vacation and it's hard to buy plastic eggs mid-summer. Not that there's any sign of summer yet, but you know what I mean.

So after two weeks of eggs what exactly did they lead up to? A little quiz. One question with only one answer. Which of the plastic eggs was my favorite color-wise? The answer was sort of mis-leading as everyone knows my favorite color is blue, but the purple plastic egg really was my favorite one so the surprise was hidden in the purple egg. And what was the surprise? A whole lot of nothing really. But I gave them chocolate and gummy bears as a consolation.

I thought about it long and hard, but they really did behave for two weeks, so it would have been cruel to hit them with some of the ideas I had.

Of course, right after the egg had been opened my past life collided with my present and one of the guys I used to prank at my old job showed up and may possibly be in cahoots with Baba and Muffin now. *sigh* So I have a feeling it's not really the end.

I'll be away for two weeks but the blog will continue to be updated when I return because really, everyday is an adventure. (Well, not everyday, but stuff happens and I need a record of cruelty so I can plan payback.)

Happy Easter everyone!

Happy Big Surprise Eve!

Let's celebrate! With balloons! Yay for Bell Mobility finally getting around to fixing my photo messaging. So, by popular demand, the balloon truck from earlier this week. I was smart and snapped this picture part way through. There were a few more in there than this, but then I got busted. *sigh*
Today was the second last day. So sad...

Today's clue was pretty much a giveaway as to what is going to happen tomorrow. It should be fun!

Here it is:

I forgot to write it last night,
So crammed it in this morning,
This is the last of the fun eggs,
Yep, this is your warning.

Tomorrow's egg will be a choice,
But not one of your own.
A little game we all will play,
Then the big one will be known.

So how will we know What you will win?
It's quite simple you will see.
I've got bunches of numbered eggs,
It's like a freakin' spree!

Yep, bunches of eggs will be here tomorrow,
But only one will be cracked.
Some will be bad, some will be good,
The odds against you are stacked.

So be ready to play when you come to the store,
I'll be anxious to see you.
Read up on the clues so you know which one to choose,
And hey, get over the flu. (or man cold. But that didn't rhyme)


I have lots of stuff to get ready for tomorrow! The eggs? Nah. Those are done. But I have to get packing. I'm leaving town. Might be a good thing. ;)

Man Cold

Stupid Bell Mobility still won't let me send myself pictures. Grr... Apparently today it has switched from billing issues though to network issues. *sigh* So, no pictures of balloon truck again today.

I did get to hear about the aftermath of project balloon truck though! Turns out that even though I didn't get nearly as many balloons in there as I had hoped, the effect of the ones I did get was a pretty good one. When they started popping them the rubber was sticking to the windows and made a pretty good mess. I'm sorry I missed that.

As for today's egg, since the guys are sick, I decided to take it easy on them. They showed up still under the weather again this morning and threatening to spread their germs all around. They forget that women don't act like freakin' babies when they have a little head cold. Of course, it's universal. Check out the evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsvWK_EedLU That's a classic man cold.

Anyway, I just kept the egg on my desk this morning. I had to run out in the torrential rain to measure a garage door. See, I'm way more brave than them. When I got back to the store at around 9:30 it was still sitting there. Hmm... Maybe they really were sick...

The rain hadn't even dried on my notebook though when they showed up. "Is that our egg?" Well, it's not mine. Then they thought that there was something messy in there because they could see it. Paranoia at its best. I had to open it up and show them that no, there was nothing messing in there. Then they said they were the only ones allowed to open the eggs. *eye roll* There's no making these guys happy.

Today's poem:
So yesterday's plan didn't go as well as I thought.
In fact the whole thing had me a little distraught.

I guess I need a day to regroup,
And you guys need some chicken noodle soup.

Just two more days until the end,
Then you'll have a whole week to mend.

Will the big surprise be a punch in the head?
Or more balloons in the color of red?

Nah, it's neither, so you can relax,
But maybe it'll be a whole box of tacks!

I'm crossing my fingers it goes as it should,
If it does, life will be good.
(For me at least. I can't say the same for you two.)

Only two more eggs to go! They have no idea what the big surprise will be. Do you?

99 Red Balloons

I seriously love that song. So I didn't get 99 balloons, and they weren't all red, but some of them were red and I have no idea how many there were.

I started inflating balloons yesterday because I figured I'd only have half an hour at the job site today to fill the entire cab of the truck with balloons.

The guys showed up this morning and they were sick. Really sick. I felt a little bad, because balloons make a lot of noise when they pop. Not exactly the best noise to hear when your head is all stuffed up and you feel like crap. They told me to bring it on though, so I did.

I had a whole bunch in the back seat of the car and some in the front seat as well. I got there and tried to be as quiet as possible with the car doors.

I got busted by the painter, who laughed and said he'd keep my secret.

Then I got busted by Muffin who apparently saw me through the window and called me a Tweaker. Whatever the heck that is. (It's probably a good idea I don't know). Then Baba came out and really called me on it. Ah well, I did manage to get quite a few balloons in there! I even took a picture, but my oh-so-wonderful cell phone provider (yeah, I'm looking at you Bell Mobility) has decided to cut my picture messaging service for the day. Hopefully I'll get that fixed up tomorrow.

So, in one of the balloons was today's egg. They also got a bonus poem today! It was written on a piece of paper, which a pin inserted into it. The paper poem:

This is not an egg you say?
You guys are pretty smart.
But yes, there'll be an egg today.
This is just the start.

I'm including with this poem,
A teeny little pin,
And if I was a betting gal,
I'd say this one was my win.

Keep this little pin handy,
I'm pretty sure you'll need it,
When you do find today's egg,
You just might throw a fit.

And the poem in an egg in one of the balloons:

So hopefully you aren't too mad,
After all balloons are fun!
Before you know it this will end,
This week is almost done.

Yes, I know it's Monday,
But admit it, you can't beat me.
We can end it all right now,
If you guys would just agree.

You think that this is as big,
As I am able to go?
This is just a tiny thing,
Seriously, you don't even know.

Your one last chance to call a truce,
Before I set the trap.
If a truce is finally called,
Then I'll shut my yap.

It turns out that the guys are WAY more cruel than I could ever be. Baba told me I should have filled the things with water. Somehow I don't think he'd have been thrilled with that idea if I had gone through with it. It had been considered, along with flour and whipped cream. Obviously some of us (me) aren't mean. No matter what they say.

Better luck with plan followthrough tomorrow I guess!

These guys just won't quit...

Yay for Friday! But seriously, I don't know how much worse things have to get before these guys say "Uncle". Here's to hoping next week will do them in for good.

All week I was eagerly looking forward to Friday, not just because it's the last day of the work week (or so I thought until I realized I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow. Boo on that.) but because I had been working on a secret project that I couldn't wait to reveal.

What was this secret project? Personalized shirts.

I'm glad Baba's shirt is on an angle here, because this way you can't see that I screwed up the last "A". Drinking and ironing don't mix kids.

So after yesterday's guess of shirts for the big reveal I thought about saving these for next week, but they have bigger and better things coming their way, so I stuck with the plan.

They showed up bright and early looking for today's special surprise. I had gift wrapped each of them in tissue paper. I think it's fair to say that they like them. Baba put his on right away. Muffin is saving his for a special occasion. *shrug* Then they requested matching underwear.

However, I was refused a photo op for blogging purposes. I'm starting to suspect that Muffin may be wanted by the police in 6 provinces or something. Whatever.

Today's poem:
Hurray! Hurray! You made it this far,
And got my offering of peace,
So if you've chosen evil,
I will warn you this won't cease.

What do you think of your new shirts?
I hope you'll wear them every day.
So we can tell you both apart
In a new and special way.

While working on the Doiron's bath,
I'm sure you've both had time to think,
What the big surprise might be,
Is it yellow or is it pink?

We've made it all the way to Friday,
The weekend's here at last,
I'll be the first to admit,
This week of eggs has been a blast.

Speaking of blasts and thinking,
I'm wondering what you'll decide.
Will you pull your ultimate prank?
Or will you run and hide?

I've been turned down on the peace offering. Maybe they'll reconsider on Monday. For the record, Muffin has decided he wants Monday's surprise to be pink.

Consider it done Muffin.

The Handyman's Secret Weapon...

Duct tape! That Red Green was a smart guy. Not only is duct tape good for quick and dirty repairs, like taping crown molding to the ceiling while you wait for the adhesive to dry (ask me how I know that and how long it took to repair the paint afterwards), it's also good for frustrating the heck out of would-be egg openers!

The egg:
Yep, I wrapped that sucker up in about ten meters of duct tape. I wish I had posed it next to a normal sized plastic egg. Problem was I didn't know what to do with today's egg. I've done the mailbox thing a couple of times so that was out. I did the coffee thing, so that was out... I seriously considered paying $40 to have the egg delivered by one of our delivery trucks, but then I snapped back to reality.

I called around 10ish this morning to see if coffees were needed. Turns out they were on their way to *gasp* Home Hardware. Sheesh... The enemy. Or at least the competition. Since Tim's is next door I met them there. Yep, horror of all horrors this was my second time this week hanging out in the Home Hardware parking lot. I hope no one saw me.

Anyway, they wanted to know where the egg was. It was in my pocket of course. They asked me to throw it over. Apparently they have overestimated my throwing arm. I throw like a girl. Or a blind man (rather than expert). You choose.

It rolled under the truck so Baba went to fetch it. Muffin had the honour of opening the egg. They were convinced that either there was something VERY messy in there, or it was just an egg shaped bunch of duct tape. I wish I had thought of that...

Minutes later the egg was unveiled.

Today's poem:

Yay! Woohoo it's Thursday!
Just one more week to go.
And just look at this new clue,
It's written out below.

Hopefully you'll get this safe,
I used a lot of tape,
I really like this plastic egg,
It's the same colour as a grape.

Tomorrow will bring something special,
I've worked on it all week,
Keeping the project to myself,
Was not easy so to speak.

I hope you both will like it,
I worked on it long and hard,
In order to get this next thing,
You won't have to go to the yard.

Instead I'll have it at my desk,
So you just come and see me,
It's blue, it's amazing, I made it myself,
And best of all it's free!
(But you can't get it until tomorrow. Sorry.)

Now, anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to keep things a secret (except for serious real secrets. I'm good with those) and this one has just about been killing me. I cannot wait for tomorrow! Eeeeee!

Later in the afternoon I thought they'd been stabbed to death by crazy Home Hardware workers and thrown in a dumpster. Thanks a bunch for making Loree and I worry. Answer the damn phone next time. Jerks.

Oh! And they took a guess at what the big surprise is. The tshirts I told them I'd ask the boss for. I wish I'd thought of that too.

Day Four - Or As Some Call It, April Fool's

Before I officially dive into today's update, I promised Baba that I'd post the poster that they're so proud of. This is what I found in my mailbox Monday morning.
Yep. Apparently they think I'm a stripper for hire or something along those lines. Who knows. How did they get this picture? Well, I'm glad you asked. A couple of weeks ago these posters showed up at the store. I knew no good would come of it. They were stuck all over the place. Aisles in home decor, at the front entrance, and one at my desk. Unfortunately the one at my desk fell off the wall. Since I'm lazy, I didn't stick it back up right away. I just stuck it at eye level on the inside of the cube. Bad move and I take full responsibility for it.

One day I'm sitting in my cube, minding my own business, when they (the culprits) show up to buy stuff. Since I'm oh so nice, I went to fetch the invoice myself. Second bad move. Again, I accept full responsibility. About ten minutes later I receive a text. At the exact same second my pocket is vibrating I look up and notice something is missing.

What was the text? Glad you asked. It was this:
Yep. The jerks had stolen it right off the wall. Thieving thieves... I set the security guard after them. And changed the picture they sent to make it much more enjoyable to look at.

Anyway, on to today. As soon as I got to work I ran upstairs to make a special delivery to the mailbox. Then I had the following conversation by text. These boys are a little paranoid methinks.

Me: You've got mail!
Baba: What's that mean? Should we be afraid?
Me: It means you have mail. You guys are so suspicious.
Baba: I saw your blog. You're crazy and yes we are suspicious.
Me: You shouldn't be. I'm not mean like some people.
Baba: Were not mean.
Me: Sometimes you are.
Baba: Like when?
Me: Like when you rearranged my desk.
Baba: That was a dark moment.
Me: It still counts.
Baba: Talk about mean. Muffin's coffee.
Me: The coffee was still good. I'm sure he's swallowed worse things than a bit of plastic.
Baba: Now that's mean.
Me: That's not mean. He probably doesn't even know. Bugs and stuff like that.

Then they showed up bearing coffee. But remember, I'd already made a mistake. Fool me once, etc, etc. I drank it, but feel no remorse for what is coming.

Today's poem:
Back into your mailbox
goes this next little egg,
Today I thought I'd take a break,
From pulling on your leg.

I got you something better,
I think you'll both agree,
When you finally get it,
you'll be quite proud of me!

I got you something all guys want,
I hope you like my picks.
Yep, you're gonna love me boys,
because I got you chicks!

They're hanging out at Laura's desk,
They don't want you to be late.
So stop by on your way out,
And hey! Enjoy the date!

About ten minutes after they'd left to go upstairs I get a phone call. Apparently the guys think I've bought them blow up dolls. Seriously... Blow up dolls... And they were way too excited about it. I think they were a little disappointed when they found their ten pack of Peeps. Yep, yummy marshmallow chicks. And they didn't even give me one. Well, I shouldn't say that, but we'll get to it.

Off they went and I thought that was the end. I was pretty much on alert all day but started to relax once lunch was over. As I was coming back from an appointment a customer of mine stopped to ask some questions. I asked him to come into my cube so I could get the answers for him. We both sit down, I start to log onto the computer and all of a sudden I hear MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch This" coming from somewhere. Thinking its my customer's phone, I tell him his phone is ringing.

"Not mine." he says, "Must be yours."

Yeah, not in this lifetime.

Thus began the frantic search for the source of the god-awful song when it dawned on me. That same song had been the one playing in Muffin's birthday card. I remember trying to sign the damn thing and the song kept playing. I think it's in my chair, but I move my keyboard and there it is. Stupid song chip thingie.
Oh, and as for the peep that they didn't share with me this morning? I found it when I left work.
Yep. That's my car antenna. Thanks guys.

Day Three

Well, today's plan didn't quite go as, well, planned. The original idea was to sink the egg in a cup of coffee so that it would be found when said coffee had been drank. Simple idea right? Yeah, that's what I thought. I was smart enough to put the clue in a balloon, because I figured that would be my best bet at waterproofing it. Actually, I had another idea before balloon, but it wasn't as PG. Then I thought I'd fill the egg with water and it would just sink. No go. There was no way to get all the air out. Then I poked a hole in the egg after receiving some advice from a coworker, the idea being that the egg would fill up with coffee and sink.

Off I went to Tim's to get coffee and tea. Then I pulled into the Home Hardware parking lot to put it all into action. I sat there for probably 5 minutes holding the damn egg in the hot coffee with my index finger. No go. I took the egg out stabbed another hole in it and tried again. Still just floating. As the coffee became luke warm I decided that science was against me and just left it floating. I was pretty sad that it wasn't going exactly as planned.

I got to the site and walked in, still feeling a little defeated. Coffees were opened and no one spotted the egg. Maybe it had sank after all! Eventually I couldn't hold it in anymore and they found it, still floating in the coffee.

Today's Poem:
Woohoo! Day three! Another egg!
I hope you didn't drink it,
I also hope you don't drink up
the water used to sink it.

Right here in your coffee cup,
Which probably wasn't a winner,
But if it was bigger than a donut,
Then you both owe me dinner.

Day three's clue is criptic,
might make you pull your hair,
The big surprise might be booze
or something that you wear

But most likely if you choose
to travel down the path,
Of choosing evil over good,
You will feel my wrath.

I am well aware of what tomorrow's date may bring,
An April Fool I am not, so don't dare try a thing.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Although not looking forward to what I suspect may have happened to my desk around 5:30 this evening.

Beginning of the Tale

Oh how I wish I had started this blog weeks ago. To update the uninformed, it all started out with a simple little comment and has escalated into pretty much all out war.

The boys, who shall from here be called Baba and Muffin (and have been for weeks really) were installing a bathroom for a customer of mine. The bathroom involved shower doors. Simple right? That's what I thought. Turns out shower doors can be a little tricky. I stood and watched for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably about 30 minutes, as they hung the doors, took them down, adjusted things, and hung them again. I was impressed with their patience level because as I told them, if it were me, I'd have put my foot through the door after about 5 minutes.

Finally the doors were hung. I asked if they could come install doors at my place next. The pay I offered was reasonable I thought. $40 and a 40 ouncer of tequila. Heck, I've done less for 40 ounces of tequila. I guess the mistake was going back to work and telling several people there what had happened.

I guess it was that day that I was also renamed. You stutter your own name once and you never hear the end of it...

It started very simply. I stuck a piece of tape on their mailbox with new names for the both of them. They did the same to my mailbox. Then came the Photoshopping.
Seriously, it had to be done.

Many empty threats and lots of kidding back and forth led to the "Great Egg Hunt of 2009" which was born out of a moment of drunken genius on my part. 10 minutes later I had a poem and a plastic egg to put it in and Friday morning the egg was planted. There are 10 eggs in total. Here is their story.

Day 1
Really, I started the eggs with no big plan in mind other than to thwart the plan that they seemed to be forming. I was afraid it was a billboard. Thursday I rushed home at lunchtime to make sure that no boards had been placed outside my house while I was working. There hadn't been, but I had to be proactive and hopefully stop any from going up. That night as I sat with my tequila I thought about it long and hard and thus began the eggs.

Friday morning I ventured to work with one plastic egg in my pocket and still no real direction on where I wanted the whole thing to go, but I figured I had the whole weekend to think about it. I taped the egg to a piece of paper, dropped it in the mailbox and waited. Half an hour and a free coffee later I was starting to feel bad. People that bring you free coffee can't be all that bad right? I won't make that mistake again.

The poem:
Just two more weeks (and a couple of days) til bunny day,
And so since I will be away,

I thought I'd better get you good,
And maybe sell you bits of wood (it's hard to rhyme "good" surprisingly).

Each day you'll find a little egg,
And at the end for mercy you'll beg.

Cause in these eggs will be a hint,
And if you're lucky a little mint. (I know, lame, but you try and rhyme "hint")

At the end a big surprise,
But! If for two weeks you're good guys,

Instead of something that seems awful,
It might be a belgian waffle!

On the other hand, if you're bad,
It'll be something that makes you sad.

So choose wisely Baba and HP,
Or you'll have to deal with me.

Now, I realize that in this poem "Muffin" is listed as HP. But HP is much easier to rhyme than muffin. I think that they probably thought I'd forget over the weekend. I didn't.

Day 2 of eggs was yesterday, Monday. They showed up and Muffin had his panties all in a twist, thinking I'd forgotten the egg at home. At no point did I say all the eggs would be in the mailbox. Sheesh... I assured him that yes, there would be an egg that day.

I left work to go to the job site and plant the next egg. As I was leaving I placed it on the front passenger seat of the truck, snapped a picture, text messaged it to Muffin and then left as fast as I could. I had stuffed the egg with confetti and knew that a mess was about to be made. I'd have felt bad about it if the truck wasn't already in such a mess. Picture evidence below.



The poem:
The second egg has landed,
along with a little mess (I hope)
As for the big surprise,
do you want to take a guess?

8 more clues to go
before the big one lands,
You'll never know when,
you'll never know where,
It could be rubber bands!

You've been patient through this poem,
so here's a little hint,
It's smaller than an elephant,
but bigger than a mint.
(Speaking of mints, I haven't picked any up yet, but I have some partly chewed spearmint gum if you're interested)

Interestingly, when I got back to the store I had a surprise waiting for me. Seems the guys picked up some photo manipulation skills along the way and had taken my picture and stuck it on a poster that somewhat insunuated that I'm a hooker in my spare time. Mean boys.

Later that day I came back to find all the confetti that had been in the egg was now on my desk. Thanks guys.