The boys, who shall from here be called Baba and Muffin (and have been for weeks really) were installing a bathroom for a customer of mine. The bathroom involved shower doors. Simple right? That's what I thought. Turns out shower doors can be a little tricky. I stood and watched for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably about 30 minutes, as they hung the doors, took them down, adjusted things, and hung them again. I was impressed with their patience level because as I told them, if it were me, I'd have put my foot through the door after about 5 minutes.
Finally the doors were hung. I asked if they could come install doors at my place next. The pay I offered was reasonable I thought. $40 and a 40 ouncer of tequila. Heck, I've done less for 40 ounces of tequila. I guess the mistake was going back to work and telling several people there what had happened.
I guess it was that day that I was also renamed. You stutter your own name once and you never hear the end of it...
It started very simply. I stuck a piece of tape on their mailbox with new names for the both of them. They did the same to my mailbox. Then came the Photoshopping.
Seriously, it had to be done.Many empty threats and lots of kidding back and forth led to the "Great Egg Hunt of 2009" which was born out of a moment of drunken genius on my part. 10 minutes later I had a poem and a plastic egg to put it in and Friday morning the egg was planted. There are 10 eggs in total. Here is their story.
Day 1
Really, I started the eggs with no big plan in mind other than to thwart the plan that they seemed to be forming. I was afraid it was a billboard. Thursday I rushed home at lunchtime to make sure that no boards had been placed outside my house while I was working. There hadn't been, but I had to be proactive and hopefully stop any from going up. That night as I sat with my tequila I thought about it long and hard and thus began the eggs.
Friday morning I ventured to work with one plastic egg in my pocket and still no real direction on where I wanted the whole thing to go, but I figured I had the whole weekend to think about it. I taped the egg to a piece of paper, dropped it in the mailbox and waited. Half an hour and a free coffee later I was starting to feel bad. People that bring you free coffee can't be all that bad right? I won't make that mistake again.
The poem:
Just two more weeks (and a couple of days) til bunny day,
And so since I will be away,
I thought I'd better get you good,
And maybe sell you bits of wood (it's hard to rhyme "good" surprisingly).
Each day you'll find a little egg,
And at the end for mercy you'll beg.
Cause in these eggs will be a hint,
And if you're lucky a little mint. (I know, lame, but you try and rhyme "hint")
At the end a big surprise,
But! If for two weeks you're good guys,
Instead of something that seems awful,
It might be a belgian waffle!
On the other hand, if you're bad,
It'll be something that makes you sad.
So choose wisely Baba and HP,
Or you'll have to deal with me.
Now, I realize that in this poem "Muffin" is listed as HP. But HP is much easier to rhyme than muffin. I think that they probably thought I'd forget over the weekend. I didn't.
Day 2 of eggs was yesterday, Monday. They showed up and Muffin had his panties all in a twist, thinking I'd forgotten the egg at home. At no point did I say all the eggs would be in the mailbox. Sheesh... I assured him that yes, there would be an egg that day.
I left work to go to the job site and plant the next egg. As I was leaving I placed it on the front passenger seat of the truck, snapped a picture, text messaged it to Muffin and then left as fast as I could. I had stuffed the egg with confetti and knew that a mess was about to be made. I'd have felt bad about it if the truck wasn't already in such a mess. Picture evidence below.
The poem:
The second egg has landed,
along with a little mess (I hope)
As for the big surprise,
do you want to take a guess?
8 more clues to go
before the big one lands,
You'll never know when,
you'll never know where,
It could be rubber bands!
You've been patient through this poem,
so here's a little hint,
It's smaller than an elephant,
but bigger than a mint.
(Speaking of mints, I haven't picked any up yet, but I have some partly chewed spearmint gum if you're interested)
Interestingly, when I got back to the store I had a surprise waiting for me. Seems the guys picked up some photo manipulation skills along the way and had taken my picture and stuck it on a poster that somewhat insunuated that I'm a hooker in my spare time. Mean boys.
Later that day I came back to find all the confetti that had been in the egg was now on my desk. Thanks guys.
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